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8th February 2009
Funny Facebook Status 10
xxx is so proud of himself! He just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 weeks even though the box said 2-4 years.
xxx wonders whose bright idea it was to choose a toddler holding a dangerous weapon as a Valentine's mascot.
xxx wonders where he's going and why he's in a handbasket.
xxx is changing your Facebook Relationship Status to... Marked As Spam.
xxx is rubbing ointment on that thing he noticed last night. Doesn't seem to be growing any smaller.
xxx is feeling trapped in this strange body.
xxx wonders whether anybody knows the current age of consent? Quickly please!
xxx caught 4 falling stars in a single night!!
xxx will be saying it with text messages this year.
xxx is hiding in your closet and watching you getting ready for bed...
xxx is eating boiled haggis... for fun!
xxx is in the Naughty Corner.
xxx is harmful if swallowed.
xxx is not the issue here, dude.
xxx is on Line One, Mr.President, shall I put him through?
xxx is making voodoo dolls.
xxx is doing whatever a spiderpig does.
xxx is going to visit you in your sleep.
xxx is consulting The Book Of Armaments, Chapter 7, verses 1 to 9, and is preparing to throw The Grenade Of Truth at you.
xxx has been enlarged to show detail.
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8th February 2009
Funny Facebook Status 09
xxx is off to fetch his mum from the airport. Hope she got the weed through without any bother.
xxx is trying out for Home School Musical.
xxx is trying to focu... OH LOOK! A BEE!!
xxx sometimes wakes up grumpy. Other times I simply let her sleep.
xxx is cle"a{ni.ng h'i.s ke]y2boa;rd
xxx blamed it on the dog.
xxx doesn't own a dog.
xxx is wondering what will happen if he touches the red wire with the green wir#*&
xxx used to play sports, until he realized that he could buy trophies. Now he's good at everything.
xxx has had amnesia for as long as he can remember.
xxx wonders whether he qualifies for a goverment bailout package...
xxx doesn't suffer from insanity. He enjoys every minute of it.
xxx wonders where Noah kept the pair of woodpeckers on the Ark.
xxx never looks a gift horse in the mouth. No likey bad horsey breath.
xxx's package could use some stimulus.
xxx is the quiet neighbour with the basement and the big freezer.
xxx gave up hope for Lent.
xxx is so happy sharing his Facebook status with you.
xxx is thinking that you looked better on Facebook.
xxx wonders, what would Scooby Do?
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8th February 2009
Funny Facebook Status 08
xxx is revoking your creative licence.
xxx wonders whether it's cheaper to travel to Old York than to New York.
xxx does NOT have a big bum! That's just my wallet.
xxx has found a shortcut for next month's marathon.
xxx loves Valentine's Day, when nookie is only a box of chocolates away.
xxx invites you all to National Orgasm Day tomorrow. Who's coming?
xxx thinks that friction is a drag.
xxx thinks that impotence is Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings."
xxx started out with nothing and still has most of it.
xxx says that the best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
xxx says that just because you're smart, it doesn't mean that the other guy is stupid.
xxx carries a 50 year written guarantee.
xxx is modest and proud of it!
xxx wishes everyone wang chung tonight.
xxx is following the chicken across the road.
xxx can't decide whether to take the red pill or the blue pill.
xxx is presenting his thesis entitled E=MC3. That's right, Mr.Einstein, I said CUBED!
xxx is out of his mind but will be back in 5 minutes.
xxx hasn't trusted elves since the 1997 "incident".
xxx is as smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!
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